1. |
An Old Man's Woes
04:17
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I thought I'd scream it all if I sought to speak of things so bleak at all
So I kept it to myself
Locked up inside my head
But now I'm decaying from within
Each day grows longer, yet somehow the same
Engines and tires that seem to spin in place
Oh, what did I wish for that landed me here? I'll never know
Just that it only gets worse
Aspiring to new lows
How many years has it been?
Somewhere back there the colors went away
All that's left is dissonant and grey
All that's left is all that's left
The things we long to control will grow to control us
I want to see where I've been
I want to know what it fucking meant
An old man's face reflects back at me. Woesome, weary, I've never thought so clearly.
It gets worse.
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2. |
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So slow
Slowly crawling back from a life so low
Showed me how to live and breath again
Or so it seemed
My momentum turned to the mundane
I should have seen it coming
Icarin flight
I was drawn towards the sun
Pulled back into orbit
The tragedy of one
And old habits fit just like a glove
Now the swing's back in your step
Kept on swingin' til the bitter end
As the onlookers wept
Lies we tell ourselves with no reason to believe
Oh, how can you arrive when you never really leave?
No longer are we burdened by the view you longed to see
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3. |
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Crawling back to the pain we know
Slowly circling round the drain
No longer satisfied
Screams turn into whimpers
As we give in
Infest me
I've lost all control
No longer satisfied
And all along you'd see
The solution we sought was just a reprieve
It’s in me
It is me
And all along you'd see
The solution you sought was just a reprieve
It’s in me
It is...
Hung from a noose tied with a rope of my own device
It's the only way it ends when nothing satisfies
And all along, all along, all along
We knew it was a farce
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4. |
The Serpent's Smile
03:36
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Crushed and choked by shadows
Splayed by knives of color
Formless gouts prismatic
Grind me down to dust
Awakened for days
Between stages in flux
Suffer we may
But it's never enough
Karmic misdirection
Wounds how they weep
Finding were bound
By the comforts we keep
Crushed and choked by shadows
Splayed by knives of color
Formless gouts prismatic
Grind me down til I am lost and accept anything
There is no relief
Nor solace
Be content
With only the rhythms that sustain
That was the beginning of the end
The lips curl
Exposing fangs
The tongue splits
I drown in the blood
that pours from within
Lost along the way
Longing to go back to that single fucking day
To touch a ghost or feel your memory
I'd still crumble under you gaze
All in all, I lost it all
I don’t think that things went that way at all
Not at all
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5. |
Distance & Time
03:44
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I often wonder, did I live up to your expectations?
A task, I suspect, you couldn't quite get right yourself
But in the mirror, I still see so much of you
Heroes only exist until you get to know their secrets
The devil's in the details
But we all lose our way
Sleepless nights and desperate thoughts of picking apart all the reasons
I took the path that led me so far away from you
A long and lonely road meanders through my mind
Still I try to find my way back
Distance and time salts the wound
But I'm still here just the same
Forever an angry child who can't just explain what is wrong
Sleepless nights and desperate thoughts
of picking apart all the reasons
I took the path that left things so fucked up
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6. |
Tragedies
04:29
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The day that time stood still
How I recall every tortured thought
I'd fucking kill you for what you took from us, you worthless piece of shit
Red and black and red and black and red and fucking black
I say no more "what ifs"
But I still can't fucking turn it off
And maybe, just maybe, I can pray often and sincerely enough that once, just this one time, the second hand will sympathetically move backwards, turning moments to minutes to hours to days and years of a life once filled with your loving embrace. You would move backwards, I'd follow suit, drawn in by the gravity of the black hole that resides where we used to be. We would be together as we were then, and nothing would hurt. No tragedies to mourn because, for us, they never were. If only.
It always ends in
Red and black
I never got over it.
We're here, we're not. And so it continues
We're here, we're not. Blessed to continue
We're here, we're not. Forced to continue
It's all so fucking brief
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7. |
Orphan
06:15
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Expel all these words of shame
All the pain I felt, up in smoke with you
With you
I try to find
Reasons that explain
But it seems none will do
The only reason is
that which begins
must also end
Expel all these words of pain
All the shame I felt, up in smoke with you
Guilt over intentions never realized
You took this from me, a parting gift
On that day, the two did meet
Each orphans in their own way
We faced your death as we faced life
Side by side, together
In the end. In the end
I hope that you felt safe
An orphan on Webster Ave
I hope you felt safe as you were dying in my arms
We're here, we're not. And so it continues
We're here, we're not. Blessed to continue
We're here, we're not. Doomed to continue
It's all so fucking brief
You were there for me
And I hope I showed you the same
Two orphans, the same
An orphan
Old friend
It’s like you never left my side
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Leave Yonkers, New York
Leave is:
Nick Castro
Mike Fabiano
Bryan Rivera
Mike Bogdanowicz
Kurt Applegate
Cris Leiva
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